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The Mosaic of You
The Power of Identity
This week we’re touching on the importance of identity in forming our sense of self and our habits - and how to affect real change.
Theres no “Abstract” this week - we think its worth your while to read it top to bottom.
We promise this one is worth it.
As usual, once you’ve had a chance to digest ‘The Mosaic of You’, visit ‘The Espresso’ for a productivity hack, an arsenal of anti-inflammatory foods and the low down on hydration.
Identity is the amalgamation of memories, experiences, relationships, and values that shape who we are. Rather than being a conscious choice, it is often molded by the influences of our parents, culture, and society.
We embody multiple identities, each tied to different roles we play in our lives, carrying with them separate expectations and responsibilities. Each one designed to demonstrate unique qualities, for example:
Professional = being knowledgeable and competent
Friend = being reliable and open
Parent = being protective and loving
Each of these roles carries specific expectations for and from ourselves, that we internalise. The various attributes of our identity form the mosaic of our self-image.
Identity verification is the term used to describe our drive to have other people’s perceptions of us align with our own self-view. We derive positive feelings and self esteem when our relationships affirm our identities, giving rise to contentment and motivation.
For example:
When a colleague or manager commends you for delivering a project, you are assured of your competence and ability at your profession
When a partner appreciates you for picking up the slack at home or for a thoughtful gift on an off-day, you are assured of your value in the relationship and your self perception of being an attentive, loving partner
Conversely, when we sense a lack of verification from those around us, it can lead to self-esteem issues, prompting us to seek validation elsewhere. We will look to cover identity verification in another release, today’s focus will be on habit forming.
This section was inspired by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. It will profoundly impact the way you view not only habits you want to implement but habits you already do - whether positive or negative.
James theorises that change can occur at three levels:
OUTCOMES:
the most basic level of change that we perceive - focusing on particular goals we want to achieve, e.g. losing weight or publishing a book
PROCESSES
the actions we take (or need to) every day, centred on habits and systems set in place, e.g. a new gym routine or implementing a new diet
IDENTITY
involves the perception of your beliefs and self-image
Levels of change (Atomic Habits)
The most common approach to implementing new habits or addressing old ones is by taking an ‘outside-in’ approach - focusing on the outcomes and processes rather than addressing the underlying identity driving our actions.
We expect our actions and results to change but have not taken any effort to affect change in who we are.
Lets take for example two people resisting a cigarette:
One might say: “no thanks, I’m trying to quit” - this person clearly relays that they are still a smoker (identity) but is trying to be something else
The other says: “no thanks, I’m not a smoker” - suggesting that smoking is no longer a part of their life
Without the perceptual change in your self-image, its clear how continuing to adopt your old identity can inhibit your plans for change.
The greatest form of motivation and one that keeps us intrinsically driven is once a habit embeds itself into your identity. In order to achieve that we need to lay down the framework for how we view the changes we want to implement.
We need to go from: “I am the type of person who wants this”, to: “I am the type of person who is this”
Here’s a few examples of what that might look like:
Your goal is not to write more, its to become a writer
Your goal is not to run more, its to become a runner
Your goal is not to learn an instrument, its to become a musician
Make a conscious effort to obtain and implement this new identity.
Adopting a new identity enables processes and ultimately the goal to take effect i.e. an “inside-out” approach. Once these processes become implemented, and the goal ever closer, you’ll begin to take pride in your change and work harder to maintain it.
Just as beneficial habits reinforce a positive identity, negative self-beliefs can hinder change tremendously well, without us even realising. We fall guilty of perpetuating stories to ourselves, over and over for years, that fit our narrative and embed themselves into our identity until we see them as fact.
How many of us have convinced ourselves:
“I am not a morning person”
“I’m always late”
“I’m bad with names”
“I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination”
“I can’t run to save my life”
Each of these beliefs have been conditioned through our experiences and environment. What is learned can be unlearned or overwritten by embodying the habits and actions that represent the beliefs and identity of the person you want to become:
An organised person > makes their bed everyday
A creative person > writes everyday
An athletic person > trains / does some form of activity everyday
The point here is not that everyone can become a ‘morning person’. It’s true that for some it doesn’t agree with their internal clocks and that’s ok. The takeaway is that we don’t need to go to sleep dreading waking up because we can embody the identity of someone who is driven and disciplined - one who enjoys the challenge of waking up early, one who faces mental friction with tenacity, etc.
Now that we know positive and negative identity traits are a result of years of evidence that we have built up - we should also acknowledge that no single instance or action in time will transform such beliefs.
You build up evidence through action, day after day, year after year, formulating your ‘proof’ that you are who you believe you are.
We can break down a framework for change into a two simple steps:
Decide the type of person you want to be (adopt an identity)
What do you stand for?
What are your principles?
Who do you wish to become?
What kind of person do you want to be?
Prove it to yourself (adopt the processes)
Do it consciously
Be intentional
Reinforce through self-reflection and appreciation
In times of falter, view things through the lens of your new identity to overcome shortfalls
Make a vote each day for the identity you wish to embody and ensure there are MORE votes FOR than AGAINST and you will win the election every time.
Build up the evidence and proof everyday so that your identity is undeniable
Remember, Your identity is a mosaic.
Any changes you try to instil are only a small part of you - they do not define you.
Chris Eubank Jr is a professional middleweight boxer from the UK.
Chris has a concept of ‘Demons’ that he tells in his personal quest.
If Chris has a 10-mile run booked during a training camp, and in mile 9 of his run he experiences a cramp that cripples his ability to complete the run - Chris will opt to limp the last mile.
He explains: “If I get off at mile 9, I’d have ‘let the demons in’, and they will show up in Round 11 of a Title Fight in front of 50,000 people.”
“I’ll know at that point that I am the type of person that quits when things get hard because I got off the treadmill at mile 9 when no one was watching.”
The commitments we keep to ourselves and what we do when no one is watching is the most persuasive evidence that we have of our character and governs everything we do thereafter.
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